Rhod Gilbert on BBC Radio Wales.

If you are listening to this, you are listening to Rhod Gilbert's Best Bits, some of the best bits of my Saturday morning radio show, live on BBC Radio Wales. This week, I'm in a studio in Swansea with Mr. Chris Corcoran.

"Hi Rhod. Pointless motorway signs are a waste of money", says __ __ ... / Yeah? / Is this the right ... is this the right place to send this ... uh ... __ __ __ ... I think ... I think / send this in, uh, / a newspaper or something / don't you / page / pointless motorway signs / transport agency or something like that. / Yeah. / for example / driving / M4 today / t__l / Mark, for some reason, uh, just in case that "t__l" wasn't a ... a strong enough word in itself / bold / and underlined / "T__l", bold and underlined / I have to say / agree with you, Mark / drove from London / down, uh, G__, yesterday, and, uh, / it was t__l __ the entire journey. / I agree as well / Cardiff this morning / in Cardiff, it was __ beautiful winter morning / Was it? / it was gorgeous, like __ el d__ / driving / end of days. / Yeah. ... __ __ in Swansea / every way yesterday / was / t__l, the whole way ... um ... and, apparently / gonna / spring / one of the newspapers. ... This is supposed to be __ light-hearted gamble / it's very difficult today / light-hearted / through the papers / t__l rains and floods / misery for everyone / awful stories / hard to be light-hearted about it / is not / gambol through the papers / start establishing __ __ light-hearted gambols ... and then just focus / on / page after page of ... of awful / the rugby is on. / I know, but ... / equivalent of / holding / in front of you / let me read this. "Hi Rhod, pointless motorway signs / nice for / monk / living up in a mountain in China, which is, some of our listeners are. / Well, one. / Well, one of them / definitely / whole show / there could be others / could / we know / contact the show / Yeah. / I'm not saying / aim the whole show at him / think about it / maximum / probably four monks, right ? / one contact__ the show / it's like ... that's the way / telly, innit? Like, / viewer figures / small percentage of people / box / and then they / multilply it out. So, if you / that theory / overnight / let's say we've got four monks listening / whole show / four monks / that is ... that is about the same / Welsh people listening. So, I / half / second half / mainly covering issues that affect monks __ __ mountain__ in China. Um ... this one, if you __ __ __ in China / probably / irrelevant / this / about / motorway signs / I can't help / monks / Let it go. __'s fine / for example / driving / M4 today / I was reminded by the energy-sapping super-bright LED sign that said "POOR DRIVING CONDITIONS". It almost caused me to c__sh. It was that bright. / alerted me to this / and thankfully I returned home safely / that thought / just about ... you see a sign, and, as you get closer __ __ / so wet and foggy / can barely make it out / get up close / oh, Poor Driving Conditions / I think we've all had that thought / Mark / any harm to point it out / any harm / safe / pointless waste of money / that kind of sign / it's only lights, though, innit ? / much money / solar powered, some of those signs ? / there anyway, Mark. The sign is there anyway. / brand-new ones on the day __ the last minute / up / money / probably reminds you / slow / probably some ... there is probably some evidence / a good thing / I think __ could provide a talking point for your show", says Mark / motorway signs / there / innit ... / J__ __ / phone in / just goes, "Today, signs."

"Dear Rhod and Lloyd, ... after your mention of d__ fruit in the last podcast, / which / didn't / Oh yeah? What's that, then? / doing / last week's show / feature about what / acceptable to eat ... uh ... on public transport. I kicked it off / all-you-can-eat Chinese b__. Lloyd or somebody, suggested ... somebody suggested d__ fruit / Lloyd / that taste delicious / apparently / smell__ like __ rotting flesh. / Oh, yeah. / unacceptable on public transport / think / mention / last podcast, I was wondering if you'd like to try / had / from the far east." ... I haven't read the end of your email yet, S__ / just tell you right now, my answer / will be no / Uh, no thanks. / Korkey / good / I'll read on / they aren't for the faint-hearted / the last time I was told that phrase / you were there, Korkey / covered / on radio / last time / somebody said to me / Are you sure / ? / not for the faint-hearted. / in ... / France / we were in France / Nantes / in a restaurant / we don't hang out in super-posh / often, but we / thought / treat / super-posh restaurant. ... I thought, "Hey, I know a bit of French / showing off / you were showing off / I was showing off / said / "Are you sure? It's not for the faint-hearted." / in French / yeah / and I said, "Huh. Bring it on." / Yeah. / ... in French. And / can I / point / point / and it was delicious. / ... Yeah. / you ... / I orderd __ __, which was ... certainly not for the faint-hearted / which was essentially an a__-riddled intestine / intestine / それは、簡単に言えば、腸のアンモニア漬けだ / the / like a Chinese roll but full of intestine ... wasn't it? / 中国の春巻きみたいなものだけど、中味が腸だってことだね / It ... it was like / it was like / scooping a brain out of somebody's head / I did have two mouthfuls. I / first one / I thought / another go / still now got / my nostrils / I still feel sick / seven years / seven years / ７年経った今でもまだ鼻に残ってる / yeah / it was horriblte, 'cause, I thought, I ... / basically / give a shot / I couldn't chew it / tried / I couldn't chew it / you know / answer / fruit / make / enjoy / inverted commas / please reply and let me know / I / send / Steve from / deepest, darkest / describe / absolutely not.

Mark in London says, "Dear Rhod, Korkey or / podcast / be with when you get this." ... I'm with Chris ... Korkey / you mentioned __ before that we share / with chimps / you have raised a bit of __ __ ... __ problem here, uh, Mark in London, you've raised a little bit / problem / because / 11:30 / regular / on this show is ... Chimp Quiz. / Chimp Quiz ! / ... But, today ... the problem is, the Chimp Quiz ... uh ... well, Korkey's done it, is the problem / each of our ... our co-hosts ... Korkey, / Barry Castagnola and so on / done it / Chimp Quiz / leader board / Korkey's already done it / lead / Chimp Quiz / 5 out of 8 / think / he got 4. I can't remember. I'll have a look / I've come along, right ? / no Chimp Quiz today / I can't believe that / I can't believe / no Chimp Quiz because you're committed to it / good job on it / go / good job / Yeah. But you've done it. You've done it now. / Yeah, but / chance / like / keep going / title / you don't say / to / tennis players / you've won / top / again on / have another go __ __ __, do you? / sport? Or / on the track / 前のは教習所、今度のは路上と考えようよ / look, if enough people get in touch / another / I know / but / people want more Chimp Quiz / some / fact / twitter / learned / questions / I know that / prepared / listen / you mentioned before that we share 98% / which made you question why / didn't make / me / question that / joke / we also share 50% of our DNA / 人間はDNAの50%をバナナと共有している / with / banana / that's ... Huh / maybe that is why / maybe that's why / I didn't know we shared 50% of / DNA / that is fascinating. / That's incredible / never / say / DNA / Is that true, though? That sounds / probably / if it is, I am launching, and I mean this in all seriousness / second half of this show / Banana Quiz.

This is from / dear / got up, put my jeans on / walked / dog / sand / soaked, got home, put my __ on / went / wood fire / this afternoon ... biblical rain. Soaked. ... Put / bottoms on / / lovely print of paw-prints / on both sides, took them off. ... I've given up / getting / dressed now / three / Fair play. / I've given up getting dressed now / know / drinking / kitchen / in my pants. / __ __ __ / the wife gets up, sees the pile / washing machine / mud / dog / pants / she's talking to me now / Carpet Diem / washing

Thank you very much. It is time / Banana Quiz / ladies and gentlemen / load of information / bananas / I'll have to / scan it / find anything interesting / 8 questions on bananas coming up. / OK / no time / to be honest / a bit nervous / you should be / OK / OK / uh / Yellow. ... I've gone early. / early / I asked / earlier / panicked / Yeah. ... A banana ... / Yeah, / sometimes / used for cooking in some countries / may be called what? / very very easily / banana / might / cooking / some countries. ... People __ be screaming / answer / get off, some people / just / some people / on / screaming / concentration / question again, please? / bananas used in cooking / Come on. / this / easiest / queue up another question / thank you / um / banana splits / Banana splits? / banana castard? / another / come up with __ answer / should / in your head / out / radio / fill it with a bit of noise / all right / don't / gentle music / gentle thinking music / OK / music / finish / please. ... Buzz. ... Buzz. / Chris Corcoran. / I don't know. / gonna kick yourself / wait / give me a clue / how / all / give / banan / just a translation of bananas / I know / translation / hang on, hang on, / yellow finger / what do you mean / you're gonna kick yourself / stand up / yeah / yeah / right / stand on one leg / don't __ me kick myself / you do know / no / that's a really hard one / start / mate, / how was that / to start with / all / tell / start / second one? / ... / bananas are commonly used in the q__ / south Indian state of __ / I knew that. __ __ __ __ question / 知ってるよ。それを質問にしてくれればいいのに。 / where / used in four ... / that right / ... four different ways / OK / steamed / yeah / curried / that's the one I knew. / give me one of the two other ways that banana __ used / south Indian / Oh my god / right / Oh ! Get in. / you could / yeah / back in the banana game / one out of two. ... Hhh. ... OK. / bring it on. / OK / OK / here we go. OK. / which, I can tell you / quite / pretty / actually / like / fried / fried / like / banana / similar to the ... right, similar to the / a popular d__ in ... / Yeah? / says / I've already given you a massive clue / India? / No. / give / my / language / from / I said / know / language of Indonesia / M__sia / three places / Yeah? / last one / music please / India? / No. / Uh ... OK. Um ... Gosh, I should know this / "I should know this" ? / already mentioned it today on the show. ... I know / linked / I can't tell you that / too much of a clue / tell / I can't take it back. / OK / I wonder / eat / public transport / banned? Wait ... wait / five / in Japan? / No. / hong / Singapore / I'm afraid I was going to / countdown / doesn't work on / Rhod Gilbert show / conventional quiz structure / more Banana Quiz after this.

banana pancakes are popular / which group / banana p__ / are popular / certain group of people / according to / available / men and women / or / more specific? / much more specific. / Oh, really? / absolutely / banana pancakes / amongst a certain group / listening at home / which / not a band / not One Direction or anything / banana p__ / a certain / down / downhill skiers / although you have to ask yourself / you've seen downhill skiers? / those suit__s, mate / a bit odd / what's that? / banana / just happy to be skiing / thinking / Anyway, banana pancakes / get / popular / Formula One drivers? / No. / put / delivering / you / everyone who ... / dominos / picking people / skier / them around / 何で持ち歩くって決めつけるんだよ？ / not ... not just ... you know / Fomula One / hang out __ __ formua 1 drivers / might / know / breakfast / 1 / Priests ? / backpackers, apparently, according to / banana pancakes / popular / ridiculous / it's true, though / banana / so much harder than Chimp Quiz. / It's not / it / last / only if / banana / Listen. / all / banana / in a large hanging cluster / I knew / made / bananas / what are those tiers called? What's the name for a tier of a cluster / large / tiers / and those are known as ... / F__. / No. / five / edges ... / gathering / had that / give / look at your face / give / time / just before you said it / No. / podcast / I'm sorry / think / I don't think / give it to you / Oh, mate, ... / I ... I / you / acknowledge / ボクが自力で答えて、それが正解だったことは、認めるだろう？/ それは認める。しかし時間切れだった。ポッドキャストをあとで聞いてみればわかることだ。 / what / but it's out / time / quiz / countdown / I know / I can't stop / can I get a half-point / Oh, man / hanging / if / remember / made up of tiers / hands / up to / the hanging cluster ... / Yeah, / is known as a / bunch / do / so easy / so angry / get it wrong / idea / good try / pressure / cool as / in __ bakers / took / pressure / from / 2 from 6, is it? / 2 from 6. / OK. / bananas / are / why would a banana / badly phrased question / really badly phrased / as / well / come on / are slightly ... what? / uh ... / Why might a banana / slightly / be used in / nuclear physics? / バナナが物理学でよく利用されるのはなぜか / um ... because they are / "slightly" important? / more this than other fruits / nuclear / fruit / five / four / cooling / they're radioactive. / No. / I'll tell you what / learning / bananas / content / isotope p__ / should have worked that out / should have, would have / too / one / think / bananas / radioactive / hang on a minute / second / seven / terrible / find more questions / interesting / hey / I'll do / banana fact / Yeah. / bananas are incredibly / wiped out worldwide in a very short amount of time / I / agree, Tom. / but why are they incredibly s__ble / wiped out / I know the answer to this. ... Because / they've been / cross-bred commercially / so / enough / diversity / in their g__s / do I give you this ... / answer / nearly all bananas / clones / southeast Asia / talking / I'll level with you / give / just because / well done to Korkey.

If you enjoyed that one, why not listen to the whole show? / 11 till 1.

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